bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
