so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
