Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
