So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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