there was a trapeze. enough said
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
