Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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