Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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