Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
