I wish i was in the wii world.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
