Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
