Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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