i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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