okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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