Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
