I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize