you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
