yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
