why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
