Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
