Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
