I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
