I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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