Already got asked if we're dating
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
