In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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