Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
