Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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