Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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