So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
