I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize