Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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