Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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