Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
3pm strippers are depressing
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
