Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
