ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize