Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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