I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
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By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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