some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
