I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
