I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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