Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
