Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
