My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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