One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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