I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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