problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
