Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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