Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We smell like vodka and hangover
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