k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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