I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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