Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
