Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
