hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
