Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
