it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
