Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
