If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
