It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Everyone says I win the strip club
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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