Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
