oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
